Monday, February 21, 2005

The fix is in!

In more ways than one.

Last night "The Ambassador" ended. Ho-hum. Did anyone really think that Eitan, darling of the media hacks and One of Them, wouldn't win? Just because he's a mechanical wind up toy with the personality of moldy Wonder Bread and the arrogance of an Israeli politician? If you did think anyone had a chance besides Eitan, did you actually think the religious guy (and we all know religious guys are secretly bent on killing as many Arabs as they can, and if they can't get an Arab they'll take an Israeli politician; besides, Tzvika lives on an idelogical settlement. Oh, it's in the Negev, not the West Bank or Gaza? Who cares? One day we'll be giving the Negev away, too, because It's Not North Tel Aviv) or the "woman of color" (Note to Mahareta: you barely speak a word of English, but I noticed how quickly you learned the PC term for your skin color, though you still used 'black' when you spoke Hebrew), both of whom have no Israeli parent, could win over the son of an Israeli woman who left to the Big City? So what if Eitan lost the Diaspora vote and won not a single contest in NYC, where he's going to be working?

The only good thing about Eitan winning? New York's loss is the entire country's gain. If only we could unload all our arrogant wind bags on some other country. I'm starting the bidding on Areil Sharon. Know what? We'll give him for free--as long as *you* feed him.

Who would I like to have seen win? The reporter from the NY Daily News. What honesty, what courage! He won't vote for Tzvika because "I'm not a 15 year old girl." He tells Eitan to stop selling himself as a sex object, because "that's a stretch." And how. Note to Eitan: Hair transplants. Think about it.

Where did the other two go wrong?

Mahareta sold her tragic tale too many times. NYC high school teens just aren't interested in that. You're an actress, woman--tak about movie making! Talk about the TV soaps! Tell them how in Israel, "women of color" don't have to sing rap to be stars! No, it's all, "we starved, we trekked, we longed for Jerusalem." Face it, we live in a post-modern world. Suffering is out.

Tzvika: this isn't "Israeli Idol." The teens already voted for you once, but they couldn't vote at this stage. Nothing makes the media moguls turn on a person like trying to be their pet religious person. Ask Yisroel Eichler. Ask Miriam Lapid. Ask Zevulun Orlev.

Eitan, in retrospect, did everything right: forget your fellow contestants and lick, lick, lick away at the panel's gluetus maximus. Show them you're just like them. Nothing in Israel succeeds like carbon copies.

The fix is in, knitting version: Ripped out the green socks for the fix-along *again*. I liked it, I really did, but realized I might not have enough of the green Romney to last for two socks at that cuff length. So I started again, toe-up this time, and I'll knit on both socks, one ball of wool at a time, until I run out:

Check out the stitch marker! I needed to make 18 for the Clapotis, so I made a few more for whatever. They're addictive.

The Fry-Up is done!

What's that you say? Looks like a hunk of nothing? How clever of you to notice. It's actually face down on the lining fabric. Stay tuned for the big unveiling later this week (because I am *not* shlepping spare fabric with me to NY). Illanna suggested some more Israeli food. If I ever do a matching beret, it'll have a slice of bread with chocolate spread, but I'm not sure that goes so well with hummus.

And last but not least, if you don't ever hear from me again, it's because I got swallowed up by the Great Wall of Mama:

Whenever I travel I put up lots of Post-Its the week before with everything I need to do (I mean everything--pack, shower, eat, knit...). As the week progresses the number of Post-Its varies, but by the time I leave it should be done to none. I hope. A lot of Post-Its give their lives for my travels, but they're just SWAG, so what do I care?

A new link on the sidebar: Check out Zibibbo Is Good. Knitting and anti-idiotarian news. And for the record, I'd put up a Knitters Against Global Jihad button, so make it! Once I finish all this petro-chemical byproduct in my stash I'm grabbing that "Say no to acrylic& hell no to worldwide terrorism" button. The acrylic isn'y my fault; I inherited almost all of it.

1 comment:

Leisel said...

I don't know if you've started Clapotis or not, but you don't have to use stitch markers if you don't want to. Stephanie (The Yarn Harlot) mentioned it on her blog, and I wrote out the instructions in a little more detail on mine. At the moment, it's the most recent post.

- Leisel