Tag, I'm it!

From the ever-vintage yarn ho:

Pick five and fill in the blank then pass it on to three (or more!) victims friends (and no backsies!):

If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…
If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an inn-keeper…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be an astronaut…
If I could be a world famous blogger…
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…
If I could be married to any current famous political
figure…

If I could be a world famous blogger I wouldn't have to worry about what to do during my six hour layover at JFK on June 2. People would flock from the entire tri-state area to see me. (Hey, NYC area bloggers--anyone up for a KIP session at JFK on the evening of June 2?)

If I could be married to any current famous political figure it would be George Bush. And then I'd harrangue him every night until he told Ariel Sharon to stop the madness he's planning, and until he fully recognized Jerusalem as Israel's capital. (At first I was going to say it would be Ariel Sharon, but just look at the man. Would you want to even think about sex with him? Ewww....)

If I could be a doctor I would make sure to listen to my patients, particularly women around *that* age. I'd run tests, just to be sure, instead of dismissing it as "empty nest syndrome" or "menopause." (I learned all this from my cardiologist, Dr. Park, who was the first doctor in 15 years to really look at my tests and treat my problem. It was there all along and obvious, but until Dr. Park I was always a "hysterical housewife" and so not truly as deserving of treatment as, say, The Spouse.)

If I could be a professor I would probably be kicked out of academia for having politically incorrect views, but I'd keep writing and trying to publish, just so kids like The Middle Teen could read some academic text which didn't demonize people just like her.

If I could be a gardener then my garden would look more like

ruffled altheas!

striped altheas!

herbs!

fiber plants!

But since I'm not a gardener, what I've shown is only about 5% of my yard, and the rest is the sad truth:



Victims...victims. Shiknits, because I read her and know what my own teens are probably saying behind my back, Rachel Ann, because she's one of the most perceptive bloggers I know, (hey, di dthey ever fix that hole in your town's fence?) and Backspace, because new content is desperately needed there.